It's natural to desire to work things out together with your ex particularly when the split is clean. I've been there myself many times! I do believe the reason we attempt to stop the split is because we're afraid of change, even though we're in a bad relationship. So, before you make any try to make your ex take you back, sit back and assess why you want to buy to happen. Below are a few thoughts to get your mind working:
Is it an enmeshed relationship? It is a term that experts use to describe social relationships in what type person depends completely on the other. If it is possible to not operate without your mate and you do everything together, then you are most likely in an enmeshed relationship. They are not healthy for you personally in the long run.
These kinds of relationships certainly are a bit distinctive from the buddy-buddy items that happens when you are near someone. Think serious and you are on the right track. For instance, if you actually don't have the courage, confidence or willpower to visit a restaurant, film or shop without your ex, then it is an enmeshed relationship. You're completely determined by the other person to do some ordinary activity. Seem like it is worth getting back together? No!
Was there almost any abuse in the relationship?
Abuse comes in many different types, nevertheless they are terrible. Whether it was physical, sexual, mental or else, almost any abuse creates a poor relationship and one which should only stop. You're better off single. The difficult part is working together with people have been in abusive relationships and convincing them that it is not their fault and their ex will not change. In these circumstances, I advise people get some professional help.
Are you currently under 20 or is this certainly one of your first breakups?
I get PLENTY of emails and blog comments from middle, senior high school and university students. I do not learn how to say this politely: 90% of the time, they are upset and worrying about something which does not have any long term consequences because of their lives. In many cases, I would bet money that their old boyfriend wasn't their 'soulmate' and they will find someone else.
The issue a large amount of these younger readers have is that they are completely overcome with these thoughts that they have never had to cope with before and they do not know very well what to do. I do believe the solution for nearly these is to really undergo and read my article.
You can find a few other times when I do believe relationships are not worth saving, like when somebody was cheating or when you can find serious trust dilemmas. Maybe I will get in to those in a later article, but I do believe most people who contact me for help fall under one of these simple catagories.